A Time of Hope
by Cuban Sombrero Gal
Summary: Susan’s aunt dies that first summer after the war begins, becoming one of the first casualties, one of the first statistics.


**A/N: **My God, it's been forever since I wrote Harry Potter fic (or any fic at all, for that matter). I've just been far too busy with school and work, which is a shame, but lucky I have the Reviews Lounge, whose summer project (admittedly started by myself) gave me the inspiration for this. It's posted as Chapter 31 of their collaboration, _In The Summertime._

Anyway, I'm currently working on some other projects, so hopefully I'll have some more stories up soon, and in the meantime, I'd love it if you could read this one and review.

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**A Time of Hope**

Summer is a time of sadness.

Susan's aunt dies that first summer after the war begins, becoming one of the first casualties, one of the first statistics. She becomes one of the first fallen Order of the Phoenix members (not that Susan is supposed to know about that), one of the first bodies sprawled across the floor; her death becomes one of the first Muggle mysteries. Amelia Bones becomes another body, another name, another person to grieve for when there's only so much sorrow they can all hold.

Her family cracks under the pressure, finally wearing the scars of a war that ruined them too long ago. The house reeks of silence and tears; Susan's mother wails and no-one can bear to tell her: crying won't bring your sister back. Amelia is just another one in a line of fallen siblings, shattered, broken. _Dead._ The word has connotations for Susan that it shouldn't have, starched black dress, pretty white flowers, another day, another funeral procession.

It rains at Aunt Amelia's funeral, and Susan finds that rather fitting. The clouds paint the sky in black and white, the fragile rays of sunlight caught behind their blanket. Susan finds that fitting because, without Aunt Amelia, summer isn't really summer anymore. Slowly, the sky, like her heart, has grown darker; outside; an unseasonable chill sweeps over England while she huddles in the shadows and cries.

--

She goes back to Hogwarts anyway. There's nothing for her at home now, like summer, the happiness that once burned so bright in the Bones' house has faded. It's gone. _Forever. _The word still tastes funny in her mouth, a promise that burns like red-hot fire until it's extinguished by the winter rain.

It takes Terry five seconds to figure out that something's wrong. The sadness rolls out of her throat in waves and she collapses against him as she starts to cry. It shames her – Amelia Bones fought 'til the end and Susan Bones should too. But she can't.

She says as much to Terry and he sighs.

"You're being ridiculous."

"No, I'm not."

"Look, Susan," he says. "We're all going to fight. You should join us, you should fight. Fight for Aunt Amelia."  
Susan smiles slightly, despite herself. He doesn't understand, and she doesn't want him too – he and Anthony and Michael are so sheltered; they know so little loss and it's a sad sort of smile because she both envies and hates their naivety. Sometimes, she wishes she could be like that. Sometimes she wishes it was less about forgetting and more about having nothing to remember in the first place.

"I want to," she says, even though she doesn't, not really. She's a Hufflepuff and yes, that makes her loyal, but it doesn't make her brave. She doesn't want to be brave. Bravery killed Cedric Diggory, what feels now like so many summers ago. Worse, bravery killed her family.

"But the DA," she says finally. "It's probably not going to start again, not now that Umbridge is gone." It's a weak excuse, and she knows it. Terry knows it. It's a mark of how much he loves her that he doesn't comment; instead, he just squeezes her hand gently and kisses her on the cheek. For a moment, she falters under his gaze, forgets that there's a war and that somewhere outside these four walls, people are floundering, suffering, dying. For a single second in time, Susan forgets that her family has suffered so much, that so many of them have died.

"We don't have to join the DA again," Terry says. "We can just start with small things, you know, like defending Harry Potter's name." There's a slight twist of his lips as he says it, and Susan understands straight away – as much as Terry respects Harry Potter, he hates that the Chosen One gets all the fame.

She loves that about him – his ability to sacrifice himself for the greater good, the way he tries so hard, cares so much, devotes every little part of himself to her, and to his friends. And in that moment, she realises it – it's love that will win the war for them. Love for their homes, for their schools, for their friends, for their family. Love for the heroes, but also love for the fallen. Love for Amelia.

Summer is a time of sadness, but maybe spring will be a time of hope.


End file.
